


happy sounds of...

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: EC Week 2019 [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Backstory, Comfort/Angst, During Regina's First Dark Curse, EC Week 2019, Established Relationship, F/M, Infertility, Married Couple, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 13:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19210018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: "I wish I had the opportunity to give you a child, David.  If things were different, we could fill this house with the happy sounds of children."





	happy sounds of...

**Author's Note:**

> Date Written: 12-13 June 2019  
> Written for: EC Week 2019  
> Prompt: Day Three, June 12: David and Regina are married during the curse  
> Word Count: 1360  
> Summary: "I wish I had the opportunity to give you a child, David. If things were different, we could fill this house with the happy sounds of children."  
> Spoilers: Canon divergent AU taking place about 11 years before the pilot episode. Just go with it, okay?  
> Warnings: Mentions of infertility.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Okay, so this wasn't supposed to be _this_ angsty, but this is where we are. My Regina muses love their damned angst, okay? LOLOL I wasn't expecting to do more than a oneshot for this prompt, but I have a feeling I may have come up with a whole new verse to play in. We'll see what happens…
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: Not yet, so if you see something spellcheck and I missed, please let me know?

"We should have a baby."

It takes a feat of herculean strength to keep her from throwing the dish in her hand at his head at his question. A quick glance at him reveals the unwavering earnestness that he's always possessed; nothing about the curse can erode that somehow. But she falls back on the story she tells in this land, in this curse, and tries to remain calm against the wave of anguish raging in her chest.

"That coma really did a number on your memory, didn't it, sweetheart?" She's proud of how steady her voice sounds. Then again, after nearly seventeen years of her glorious curse, she's gotten even better at hiding her emotional state than she ever did when she had magic in the Enchanted Forest. Her sweet, hapless husband of ten years is proof of that, even more than the rest of this benighted little town she runs.

"Oh," he says softly, smile morphing into a frown as he flips the towel over his shoulder and moves to pull her into a loose hug. "Right. I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to forget or to upset you."

Without thought, she snuggles closer into his embrace, relishes the fact that his grip around her waist tightens automatically in response. At the sensation of his lips on her hair, she lets a couple tears loose and wraps her own arms around his waist. He's so good to her, _too_ good to her; she doesn't deserve a single bit of it, not for what she's done to him, his family and friends, everyone in this town. When -- _if_ \-- his and Snow's daughter ever comes to town to break her curse, Regina knows her life will be forfeit. None of them will forgive her, _especially_ her husband.

"Regina? Honey, are you okay?"

She shakes her head, clearing her throat before huskily saying, "I'm fine. Just…" She pauses, unsure of what to say, and then the words just fall from her lips before she realizes it. "I wish I had the opportunity to give you a child, David. If things were different, we could fill this house with the happy sounds of children."

"What about adoption?"

She pulls back to stare up at him. "What?"

His face crumbles then. "Is-- Is that not something you want to consider? I just thought maybe it could be an option for us to be parents and raise a family."

"You _want_ to have kids with me?" She doesn't want to get her hopes up, doesn't want him to know what's been on her mind for a few months already now. Absently licking her lips, she searches his eyes for some sign, but she's not sure if she wants him to be serious or joking right now. "David, I--"

"I remember when I woke up from my coma, I was really confused," he says softly. "I would've sworn we had a little girl, probably about seven years old, beautiful blonde hair and mossy green eyes. When… When you told me that we'd barely been married before my accident and that we had no kids, I won't lie to you, Regina, it hurt. _A lot_. But I accepted it as just something that my mind latched onto while I was in that coma, a way to deal with my injuries and healing." He sighs and licks his lips, and Regina unconsciously mimics the latter. "I still have dreams sometimes about being a father, holding a tiny baby in my arms. I think it's a girl, but I'm not sure. It's tiny, but there's gravitas to the weight in my arms. You're always there, but you're hazy somehow, like I never see you, but I can feel your presence. And then I wake up and it hits me that we don't have kids and this cloud of depression follows me for a couple days afterward."

The simple, autonomic task of breathing is suddenly stolen from Regina, lungs going rigid as stone at his explanation. Terror builds in the pit of her stomach, making her nauseous, and bile rises in her throat, but the only thing escaping her is a sudden rush of tears as her eyes close against the churning fear and self-loathing. Her heart beats sluggishly, but she can hear the blood rushing in her ears; it drowns out every other sound around her. She can see that David is saying something, watches the concern flood his eyes, but she can do nothing to assuage him from his worry.

"So sorry," she finally whispers raggedly, eyes cast down so she won't have to see the pity in his gaze.

"Hey," he replies softly and cups her chin, but she refuses to lift her head or her gaze toward him. "Honey, please look at me. This isn't your fault."

She lets out a sharp bark of bitter laughter at that. "Yes, it is. You should hate me, David. I'm no good for you. I'm toxic and you'll realize that one day and hate me for it."

"Regina, stop it! I'm not going to hate you. There's nothing you can do to make me hate you."

"Give it time, David." She can feel her heart tearing itself apart in her chest, the pain searing through her like a wildfire, leaving nothing but devastation and ruin in its wake.

He tightens his grip on her chin, offering a new pain to distract her from what's already ready to drop her to her knees, and she doesn't fight when he tilts her head up. There are lines bisecting his forehead as his brows draw in closer, stormy eyes laid bare and bracketed by tiny crow's-feet. She can read the worry and love plainly, and it hurts even more to know how inevitably that love will change to hatred again.

"Whatever it is you think you've done to warrant me hating you, I can promise you right now that it won't happen. We've been married for over ten years, not including when I was in my coma. Yeah, we've fought over the years, but nothing's ever been so bad that we couldn't get through it together and come out stronger." He offers her a soft smile and loosens his grip. "You not being able to have children is not enough of a reason for me to hate you. That's why I want us to consider adoption. Will you at least give it a shot and let me try to convince you of the pros?"

She knows she should refuse, shouldn't make things worse than they're already going to be whenever her curse breaks. But what started out as a means to further punish Snow White has ended up with Regina falling in love with this simple shepherd-cum-prince. Gods help her, but losing him is going to be nearly as painful as losing Daniel was, and she's _still_ not over Daniel yet. Another decade or more of married life with David is going to make this anguish even worse. She makes a vow to herself here and now that when the time comes for her curse to be broken, she'll find a way to escape the reality of her failures. She has the ingredients for a sleeping curse still in her vault. But David can't know that she has such a curse or any other kind of magic, he can _never_ find out. She takes a deep breath and offers him a timid smile.

"I'll listen to what you say and will consider it, but I can't promise anything beyond that, David. It's-- That's all I can offer you right now."

He leans in to press a gentle kiss to her lips, hand sliding back to massage the back of her neck. "That's all I ask, honey. I love you."

A sob bubbles up past her lips before she can stop it and she brokenly whispers, "I love you, too."

The ache blooming in her chest is testament to just how true her words are. Maybe she can tweak that sleeping curse to give her only good memories for the rest of her life, memories of the happiest years of their marriage.


End file.
